Starting over at any point in your life can be daunting, but doing it after 60 is a whole new ball game.
For most over-60s, the two biggest points of change later in life come from financial difficulties or divorce.
More and more baby boomers are finding themselves struggling to meet the cost of living, which is causing them to have to either start over or do a major re-vamp on their finances.
On the other hand is the huge amount of boomers heading into divorce. This change can be incredibly difficult, but it also has a silver lining.
While there can be lots of tricky things to navigate through with both these issues, there are also plenty of advantages to starting fresh later in life.
Before you start thinking it’s all doom and gloom, take the time to reconsider things with these ideas in mind.
Financially strapped
There are so many stories out there about people who have lost everything later in life and are forced to start over financially at a time they thought they’d be winding up their working life. Whether you’re struggling with money because of lack of income, a bad investment, or circumstances completely out of your control, there are ways you can help yourself get out of the downward spiral.
First, make a budget. It’s so much easier to sort through things and get ahead once you know exactly what you’re dealing with. Figure out where you need to cut back and where you can cut back. Look into what your paying for bills every month and shop around. Can you get a better deal on your phone and internet? Probably. Can you find ways to cut down your electricity costs? Definitely. Many companies, electricity included, offer discounts for people who pay online and pay on time. If your bank is charging you account fees just to house your money, go in and ask them for something better. Nine times out of 10, they’d rather cut a deal than lose you as a customer.
Second, take stock of your skills. If you find you need to start bringing in income again figure out how you can do this without stretching yourself too thin. Perhaps you’ll need to brush up on some of your skills thanks to new technology or changes in the industry, but there are plenty of places online you can do this for free. Do you know a language? Can you sew? Have you got admin experience or customer service skills? Whatever your talents are, there is a way to make money out of them — and it doesn’t necessarily mean you have to slog it out on your feet eight hours a day, five days a week.
Suddenly single
On the other side of the fence is the reality more and more baby boomers are facing these days: divorce at 60. Such a huge life change is difficult for many people to deal with, but it’s important to know there’s a light at the end of the tunnel. The first step for many is taking stock of your life. You’ve lost something, yes, but you’ve gained a whole lot, too.
Being single at this time in your life can be liberating and for many people it turns out to be a blessing in disguise. A life that was once full of routine and repetition is now open to all kinds of opportunities.
Get your affairs in order to begin with. With divorce comes financial change, so take the time and care to make sure you have a stable income or plan to sustain you (see above).
Surround yourself with the ones you love. Now is the time to lean on your closest friends and family. It’s easy to slip into sadness at a time like this, but ensuring you’ve got someone nearby to catch up with and talk to is a great little safety net to keep you sane and happy. Hey, if you don’t feel like being around anyone else try doing something that makes you happy. Whether that’s baking, watching old movies, crafting or going for a nice long walk, do the things that make you feel great.
Try something new, too. The best way to shake things up and get out of a funk is to do something totally different. Take a trip somewhere new — near or far — and explore a everything you can there, take dance lessons — experts say it’s the best exercise you can do for your health and happiness — and shake your booty till the cows come home, or do something you’ve been putting off for years. Mixing it up and adding a little variety is a great way to get started. Source: https://startsat60.com/lifestyle/starting-over-in-your-60s
The divorcée. What a retro term, don’t you think? It conjures a sexy little ex-missus in cocktail dress and kitten heels, presumed to be on the prowl for another woman’s husband.
While the stigma of being a divorced woman is nothing like it was in the ‘60s or ‘70s, let’s not fool ourselves into thinking the stigma has disappeared. You’re viewed as a failure. You may view yourself as a failure. You’ve got wounds to heal and possibly, things to prove. The way out of this particular bind, it would seem, is via remarriage. And if you haven’t somehow compensated for divorce by walking down the aisle a second time, you’re regarded with suspicion, pity, or at the very least — bewilderment. The verdict is this: you’re unattractive, mean-spirited, ungenerous in bed, a helicopter parent. Then again, maybe your baggage includes the crazy ex and more drama than you’re worth.
The bottom line is — you’re no longer good enough. You’re out of the (marriage) club, and you can’t get back in.
In “Divorce Makes You a Bad Person... Again,” Laurie Essig, PhD writes:
Despite [the] trend toward a more familial and friendly divorce, divorce is increasingly seen as a sign of bad parenting and psychological failure among many Americans, especially educated and upper-middle class Americans... for educated Americans the divorce rate is steadily declining and coming with more and more social stigma attached... divorce has become a source of shame, a mark of failure, a sign that you just aren’t working hard enough, or worse, are so incredibly selfish as to not consider the children’s needs. Ouch. But in my experience, true. Even a dozen years after the stamp on my decree, divorcée discrimination is the gift that keeps on giving. Try this on for size — a comment in conversation from a married friend, in which I mentioned the challenges of earning a living, being a solo parent, and maintaining an ongoing relationship. My words elicited the following response: “Maybe you aren’t cut out for marriage.” Ouch again!
That was quite the slap in the face, though I doubt she intended the remark to hurt as it did. Her comment was based on assumptions and ignorance: there must be something wrong with those of us that haven’t been “chosen” a second time, there must be something lacking in us if we couldn’t sustain our previous marriage, and marriage (in many circles) is still the measure of a woman’s success in life. There are other ways the stigma plays out. For example, the persistent question of marital status at social gatherings. Asking if you’re single may be informational or accusatory. In the latter case, it’s hard not feel as though you’re subject to scrutiny, as if you missed the memo on the timeframe post-divorce for emotional readiness to date and explore sexually, number of lovers and months before risking a first real relationship, tips to avoid the pitfalls of the rebound relationship, and then proceeding into more serious territory. That serious territory? Remarriage, of course — embracing the institution that tossed you out, or that you (foolishly) walked away from. After all, once remarried, you will no longer threaten or confuse with your single woman status. Another example occurred just this morning. I ran into an acquaintance of 15 years, and she poses the same question every time I see her. Without fail she asks: “Did you get remarried yet?” And on cue, I smile, shake my head, and firmly say no. But today she added: “I thought you were seeing a nice man. Why don’t you marry him and let him take care of you?” There’s another assumption that plagues both sexes — the knight in shining armor who will ride in to the rescue, who will fix the female finances, solve outstanding family problems, and restore the Missus crown to boot. But isn’t the White Knight Syndrome part of the flawed fairy tale of marriage in the first place?
Personally, I’m tired of being sized up, packaged up, or sliced up and diced up — and usually, by other women. I’m tired of being considered a failure because I’m divorced, and whatever the reasons, remain unmarried. That I’m not anxious to institutionalize romance, sexuality, intimacy, or playfulness seems logical enough to me — until or unless I explicitly choose to do so. What’s so hard to understand? Not jumping into the marriage arena doesn’t equate to not being capable of committed, responsible, and loving relationships.
I suppose I ought to look on the bright side of reactions to my long-term post-marital singleness. The fact that anyone would ask why I’m not remarried could be viewed as a compliment of sorts. But I’m never invited into circles that were once an integral part of my life, and only rarely invited into anything that involves couples. More likely, the discomfort that I sense is a matter of fear... fear of being alone, fear of being abandoned, fear of being financially at risk, fear of being cut off from a world that is familiar.
