Starting over at any point in your life can be daunting, but doing it after 60 is a whole new ball game.
For most over-60s, the two biggest points of change later in life come from financial difficulties or divorce.
More and more baby boomers are finding themselves struggling to meet the cost of living, which is causing them to have to either start over or do a major re-vamp on their finances.
On the other hand is the huge amount of boomers heading into divorce. This change can be incredibly difficult, but it also has a silver lining.
While there can be lots of tricky things to navigate through with both these issues, there are also plenty of advantages to starting fresh later in life.
Before you start thinking it’s all doom and gloom, take the time to reconsider things with these ideas in mind.
Financially strapped
There are so many stories out there about people who have lost everything later in life and are forced to start over financially at a time they thought they’d be winding up their working life. Whether you’re struggling with money because of lack of income, a bad investment, or circumstances completely out of your control, there are ways you can help yourself get out of the downward spiral.
First, make a budget. It’s so much easier to sort through things and get ahead once you know exactly what you’re dealing with. Figure out where you need to cut back and where you can cut back. Look into what your paying for bills every month and shop around. Can you get a better deal on your phone and internet? Probably. Can you find ways to cut down your electricity costs? Definitely. Many companies, electricity included, offer discounts for people who pay online and pay on time. If your bank is charging you account fees just to house your money, go in and ask them for something better. Nine times out of 10, they’d rather cut a deal than lose you as a customer.
Second, take stock of your skills. If you find you need to start bringing in income again figure out how you can do this without stretching yourself too thin. Perhaps you’ll need to brush up on some of your skills thanks to new technology or changes in the industry, but there are plenty of places online you can do this for free. Do you know a language? Can you sew? Have you got admin experience or customer service skills? Whatever your talents are, there is a way to make money out of them — and it doesn’t necessarily mean you have to slog it out on your feet eight hours a day, five days a week.
Suddenly single
On the other side of the fence is the reality more and more baby boomers are facing these days: divorce at 60. Such a huge life change is difficult for many people to deal with, but it’s important to know there’s a light at the end of the tunnel. The first step for many is taking stock of your life. You’ve lost something, yes, but you’ve gained a whole lot, too.
Being single at this time in your life can be liberating and for many people it turns out to be a blessing in disguise. A life that was once full of routine and repetition is now open to all kinds of opportunities.
Get your affairs in order to begin with. With divorce comes financial change, so take the time and care to make sure you have a stable income or plan to sustain you (see above).
Surround yourself with the ones you love. Now is the time to lean on your closest friends and family. It’s easy to slip into sadness at a time like this, but ensuring you’ve got someone nearby to catch up with and talk to is a great little safety net to keep you sane and happy. Hey, if you don’t feel like being around anyone else try doing something that makes you happy. Whether that’s baking, watching old movies, crafting or going for a nice long walk, do the things that make you feel great.
Try something new, too. The best way to shake things up and get out of a funk is to do something totally different. Take a trip somewhere new — near or far — and explore a everything you can there, take dance lessons — experts say it’s the best exercise you can do for your health and happiness — and shake your booty till the cows come home, or do something you’ve been putting off for years. Mixing it up and adding a little variety is a great way to get started. Source: https://startsat60.com/lifestyle/starting-over-in-your-60s
"Till death do us part," brides and grooms may have once said, but increasing numbers of Americans aged 50-plus are getting divorced. In fact, the divorce rate among this age group -- referred to by sociologists as "the gray divorcees" -- has doubled since 1990, reports Sam Roberts in The New York Times. Increasingly, it is the older woman who starts divorce proceedings, reveals Lisa Bendall in her article "Divorce Goes Grey," for the Canada Association for Retired Persons magazine. Divorce may be both a positive and negative experience at any age, but certain challenges and opportunities are common for the older divorcing woman.
Reasons One of the main reasons women over 50 get divorced is that they reach a point in their lives when they don't have to worry about staying together for the sake of the children. The kids have grown and left home, sociologist Barbara Mitchell tells Bendall, and couples may feel free to deal with ongoing problems. For those women who are approaching retirement, they may take a closer look at their lives and realize nothing is stopping them from leaving an unhappy marriage. Women who have experienced working life are becoming increasingly empowered, due to a sense of financial independence, says Mitchell, meaning they are willing to face the challenges of divorce in order to escape unhappy marriages. People are living longer, explains Rachel L. Swarns in the article, "More Americans Rejecting Marriage in 50s and Beyond," for The New York Times, meaning increasing numbers of women are reluctant to spend a decade or more with a husband they aren't happy with. Challenges Many older women worry about the financial challenges of divorcing in their 50s and beyond, says divorce coach Judy Smith, in the article "Divorce Over 50: The Challenges Are Different," on judysmithdivorcecoach.com. If a women has never had to deal with household finances, the thought of paying bills or balancing a checkbook may be intimidating. Whether an older woman has instigated the divorce or not, she may suffer from an identity crisis if her entire adult identity was linked to her husband and his career. Facing up to the prospect of loneliness may also be an issue after many years, or even decades, of living with a spouse. An older woman going through a divorce is faced with the same emotions a younger woman is, including anger, depression, grief, insecurity and fear, says Smith. Opportunities Getting divorced late in life may bring excellent opportunities for personal growth, according to Bendall. With no young children to care for, and retirement to enjoy or look forward to, the older woman has the time to pursue new hobbies, learn new skills, and establish new social circles. She can put her own needs, desires and passions first, possibly for the first time in her life. Starting over at this stage can bring happiness, satisfaction and freedom, says Swarns, whether it comes from starting a new business, getting involved in voluntary work, or taking advantage of time alone to meditate or exercise. Support A divorce support group for women can be particularly helpful, says Smith, who was divorced in her 50s, and there is no need to worry that you will be the oldest in the group. When Smith attended her first divorce support group, she found that the majority of the attendees were also women aged 50-plus. Surround yourself with positive friends and family, advise divorce lawyers from the Thomas Chase Stutzman law firm, in the article "Special Tips for Divorced Women in Their 50s." An older woman, without the responsibility of caring for young children, may find herself with a lot of time on her hands, and end up dwelling on the breakdown of her marriage. A counselor or therapist may be able to provide the support she needs to move on. Source: https://www.livestrong.com/article/168294-older-women-divorce/
You thought it was until death do you part, but now you're headed to divorce court.
Dubbed “gray divorce” by some, calling it quits during your senior years may no longer be a decision that raises eyebrows. The divorce rate for those ages 50 and older doubled between 1990 and 2010, according to a study by Bowling Green State University sociologists.
While remarriages tend to have higher divorce rates, it isn’t only people on their second or third spouse who are seeing their marriage dissolve. The BGSU study published in The Journals of Gerontology found that 48 percent of divorcees were in their first marriage.
If it looks like your happily ever after is ending, here are seven things family law experts say you need to know.
1. Alimony is almost always granted after long-term marriages.
While younger couples may have temporary alimony agreements that provide financial support for their ex, often only long enough for lower earning spouses to get back on their feet, it’s a different situation for those exiting long-term marriages. “In New York, for example, the court will generally give alimony for life,” says Bruce Provda, a divorce attorney in New York City.
What’s customary for alimony can vary, but legal experts say senior couples can expect it to play some role in their divorce proceedings.
“If they’re working, they’re going to pay some alimony,” says Bob Boyd, a partner with the Atlanta law firm Boyd Collar Nolen & Tuggle and past president of the Georgia Chapter of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers.
2. Your retirement money is about to be cut in half. It doesn’t matter if one spouse was considered at-fault for the divorce; attorneys say retirement funds and other assets are likely to be split evenly.
“What looked like a lot of money to live on in your senior years doesn’t look like much when cut in half,” Boyd says.
Provda adds that some spouses may offer more of their pension to avoid making alimony payments. However, it may not be a person’s best interest to accept a deal that would trade tax-favored investments for potentially taxable income.
3. If you keep the house, you’re giving up something else.
Boyd says many women balk at giving up their marital residence. While it can be an emotional decision to give up a longtime home, it’s one that makes the most financial sense, particularly when courts often split assets evenly.
“If you take the house, it has a value,” Boyd says. “[Then your husband] is going to get something in his column to balance that out.”
That something could be a greater share of a pension or a smaller alimony obligation. Either way, keeping the house and giving up retirement savings or cash payments could put a person in a bind. Houses come with property taxes, maintenance expenses and other costs that can stretch already meager financial resources.
4. Your kids may be older, but they might still be a factor.
“Divorce is always a hard transition at any stage,” says Christina Pesoli, a family law attorney in Austin, Texas, and author of “Break Free from the Divortex.” “The silver lining [of senior divorce] is that it’s not going to have the same gut-wrenching kid issues that younger couples have.”
In most gray divorces, child support and visitation orders are out of the picture. However, that doesn’t mean adult children aren’t a consideration in the divorce proceedings.
Nancy Chemtob, a matrimonial attorney and founding partner of Chemtob Moss & Forman in New York City, says it’s not unusual for parents to provide financial support for adult children. While adult children may want this support to continue, it’s not something typically written into a divorce agreement unless a child has a disability or is in school.
“You can’t obligate someone to pay a third party,” Chemtob says. The same applies to couples who may be supporting elderly parents. As a result, some divorcees may end up in the difficult position of having to decide whether to use their diminished savings or income to continue this support.
Finally, adult children may react emotionally to their parents’ divorce. Pesoli says there is no reason to overshare if everyone seems to be adjusting appropriately, but parents shouldn’t have to keep the reasons behind the divorce a secret. “Share if it brings resolution and is needed to help kids make sense of what’s happening,” she says.
5. Being bitter benefits no one, but there is no reason to be a buddy to your ex.
Emotions run high during a divorce, but experts say to try to keep conversations neutral.
“It doesn’t matter how old you are, be as amicable as possible,” Chemtob advises. “There is no benefit in having a contentious divorce.” Pesoli agrees but adds that being amicable isn’t the same as being an open book. Sharing information such as future plans, favorite possessions or desired assets could give a spouse considerable negotiating power during divorce proceedings. “Be polite, be civil, but keep it businesslike,” Pesoli advises. 6. Make new friends, but don’t start dating before your divorce is final. Getting a divorce can have an impact on relationships beyond the marriage. It can polarize friends and leave some ex-spouses feeling alone and defensive. “It’s so important, as a senior person, when you get a divorce to not let yourself be isolated,” Boyd says.
Possible outlets for social interaction could be community events, volunteer activities or even hitting the campaign trail for your favorite candidate in the next election. However, Pesoli says newly single seniors shouldn’t make the mistake of squandering their blank slate and jumping into a new relationship too quickly. “Dating before your divorce is final never makes things better,” Pesoli says. It can upset children, anger the soon-to-be ex-spouse and add time and money to the proceedings. 7. Get a prenuptial agreement for the second time around. With remarriages being more likely to end in divorce than first marriages, family law experts advise anyone considering another union to get a prenuptial agreement. Without one, a second divorce can take retirement savings that have already been split once and divide them even further. “If I were getting married for the second time in my senior years,” Boyd says, “I would surely get a prenuptial agreement.” Source: https://money.usnews.com/money/retirement/articles/2015/04/24/7-things-to-know-about-divorcing-during-your-senior-years
