Starting over at any point in your life can be daunting, but doing it after 60 is a whole new ball game.
For most over-60s, the two biggest points of change later in life come from financial difficulties or divorce.
More and more baby boomers are finding themselves struggling to meet the cost of living, which is causing them to have to either start over or do a major re-vamp on their finances.
On the other hand is the huge amount of boomers heading into divorce. This change can be incredibly difficult, but it also has a silver lining.
While there can be lots of tricky things to navigate through with both these issues, there are also plenty of advantages to starting fresh later in life.
Before you start thinking it’s all doom and gloom, take the time to reconsider things with these ideas in mind.
Financially strapped
There are so many stories out there about people who have lost everything later in life and are forced to start over financially at a time they thought they’d be winding up their working life. Whether you’re struggling with money because of lack of income, a bad investment, or circumstances completely out of your control, there are ways you can help yourself get out of the downward spiral.
First, make a budget. It’s so much easier to sort through things and get ahead once you know exactly what you’re dealing with. Figure out where you need to cut back and where you can cut back. Look into what your paying for bills every month and shop around. Can you get a better deal on your phone and internet? Probably. Can you find ways to cut down your electricity costs? Definitely. Many companies, electricity included, offer discounts for people who pay online and pay on time. If your bank is charging you account fees just to house your money, go in and ask them for something better. Nine times out of 10, they’d rather cut a deal than lose you as a customer.
Second, take stock of your skills. If you find you need to start bringing in income again figure out how you can do this without stretching yourself too thin. Perhaps you’ll need to brush up on some of your skills thanks to new technology or changes in the industry, but there are plenty of places online you can do this for free. Do you know a language? Can you sew? Have you got admin experience or customer service skills? Whatever your talents are, there is a way to make money out of them — and it doesn’t necessarily mean you have to slog it out on your feet eight hours a day, five days a week.
Suddenly single
On the other side of the fence is the reality more and more baby boomers are facing these days: divorce at 60. Such a huge life change is difficult for many people to deal with, but it’s important to know there’s a light at the end of the tunnel. The first step for many is taking stock of your life. You’ve lost something, yes, but you’ve gained a whole lot, too.
Being single at this time in your life can be liberating and for many people it turns out to be a blessing in disguise. A life that was once full of routine and repetition is now open to all kinds of opportunities.
Get your affairs in order to begin with. With divorce comes financial change, so take the time and care to make sure you have a stable income or plan to sustain you (see above).
Surround yourself with the ones you love. Now is the time to lean on your closest friends and family. It’s easy to slip into sadness at a time like this, but ensuring you’ve got someone nearby to catch up with and talk to is a great little safety net to keep you sane and happy. Hey, if you don’t feel like being around anyone else try doing something that makes you happy. Whether that’s baking, watching old movies, crafting or going for a nice long walk, do the things that make you feel great.
Try something new, too. The best way to shake things up and get out of a funk is to do something totally different. Take a trip somewhere new — near or far — and explore a everything you can there, take dance lessons — experts say it’s the best exercise you can do for your health and happiness — and shake your booty till the cows come home, or do something you’ve been putting off for years. Mixing it up and adding a little variety is a great way to get started. Source: https://startsat60.com/lifestyle/starting-over-in-your-60s
Many women in our community have been forced to deal with a divorce after 60. These women are not alone. According to UK government statistics, divorce rates for women over 60 have increased significantly since 1991. This is despite the fact that overall divorce rates are down during the same period. Why is Divorce After 60 So Common? What’s driving this trend? Perhaps these couples were never really truly happy. Or, maybe they grew in different directions, were no longer meeting each other’s needs, or were waiting for their children to leave home. Perhaps we simply have more time in our 60s, with fewer family and work commitments, to reevaluate our lives and the people in them. Or, it could be that we feel that we have less time to do all things that have been on hold in an unhappy marriage.
Regardless of the reasons, going through a divorce after 60 can be one of the most challenging experiences of your life. In a previous article, I wrote about how women go through 5 stages when recovering from a divorce. Now I want to provide some practical advice for surviving a divorce after 60. It almost certainly won’t feel like it at the time, but, a divorce can be a gateway to a new beginning. I hope that these words help you on your journey to freedom. Get Yourself in the Right Frame of Mind Divorce conjures up a toxic brew of unwanted, and sometimes irrational, emotions. We suffer from fear – fear of the unknown, fear of loneliness, fear of losing friends or status in the community. We experience a sense of shock, sadness and loss. All of these emotions are understandable, but, left unchecked, they prevent us from moving forward. If you’re going through a painful divorce, after a long marriage, keep in mind that your identity and self-worth are not defined by one man or one relationship. Most women emerge from their divorce stronger than ever. You can’t control every aspect of the experience, but, you can choose the frame from which you view the situation. Look for women in your circle of friends who went through a divorce over 5 years ago. Ask them about their experience. Did their worst fears come true? Write down 3 ways that your divorce is an opportunity for you to live a better life. What has it freed you to do and what has it liberated you from? Most of all remind yourself that you are worthy of love and support. You have the power to build a wonderful life for yourself, regardless of whether you are married or not. Don’t Waste Time with Regrets It’s common for women going through divorce after 60 to feel a sense of grief, guilt or even shame. While much of the cultural stigma surrounding divorce has diminished, it’s natural to feel some sadness and regret. The important thing is to not let these negative emotions define you or drag you down. Spend time with people you love and trust. Participate in activities you enjoy. Stay active socially and in your career (if you are still working) or take up volunteering. The best way to avoid negative emotions is to fill your life with positive experiences. So, don’t shut yourself away, nursing regrets and feeling sorry for yourself. An unhappy marriage, where communication was stressful or hurtful, can make you afraid to re-engage with people. You may not trust people, especially other men, but, this is the time to get out into the world and let your light shine! Take Care of Your Finances and Other Practical Issues Disagreements about money are a leading cause of divorce and, unfortunately, your financial stress does not always go away when your paperwork is signed. Whatever you do, don’t bury your head in the sand when it comes to conversations about money. When I went through my divorce, I remember the last thing I wanted to talk about was how to divide our assets. I remember thinking “I don’t want anything from him!” Fortunately, a good friend forced me to get professional support. Don’t sell yourself short. Even if your husband was primarily responsible for earning and managing money, you still have rights. So, talk to a lawyer and take care of yourself. Think about the years you worked together to help your husband become financially successful and feel confident in asking for your share. Getting professionals involved doesn’t mean that you are in for a “messy divorce” or that things will drag on. In many cases, the opposite is true. By having professional representation on both sides, you can separate the emotional issues that led to your separation from the practical considerations of your future. Talk to Your Kids Divorce can be hard for children, even when they’re adults. Ironically, your children may feel many of the same emotions that you do – sadness, shock and regret. They may also wonder how your separation will affect the family. For example, they may wonder what’s going to happen with family traditions. They may ask “where do we go for Christmas?” “How do we tell the grandkids?” or have a number of other questions. Encourage them to share their feelings and empower them to move on. Remind them that they will continue to have a relationship with both you and your ex-spouse. Tell them that you don’t need or want them to “pick sides.” They can make their own decisions. No matter how old they are, children really just want their mother to be happy and will usually give you their support as you move forward into a new and happier life. Direct your children’s energy towards helping you to start the next amazing chapter of your life. Tell them about your dreams and aspirations. Share your fears, but, try to avoid blaming your ex-husband publically. With time, your family will be stronger than ever as you bring your passions to life. Make Time for Yourself Don’t punish yourself. It’s not your fault that things worked out the way that they did. Give yourself permission to do the activities that you enjoy. Go for long walks. Join a yoga class. Spend time with the people that you love. Remind yourself of the many things in life that you still enjoy. Reflect on the fact that love comes in many forms. You probably won’t want to enter the dating world for some time, but, that doesn’t mean that you can’t enjoy the company of others, including men. Beyond all else, remind yourself every day that you deserve to be happy. You are a good person, worthy of the affection of others, no matter the reasons for your separation. Don’t be Afraid to Ask for Help Surviving a divorce is hard, but, you don’t have to do it alone. Maintaining social connections and making new friends is especially important for women who divorce after 60. Don’t let yourself become isolated and don’t make the mistake of believing that you’re alone and no one cares. Reach out to your circle of friends. Talk with openness and vulnerability. Ask for help, and you shall receive. A word of warning. In my experience, friends and family only have so much capacity for listening to our problems. No matter how strong your friendships, try to focus on positive experiences, rather than rehashing regrets. If you approach the situation with optimism, energy and openness, surviving divorce can be the start of a whole new happier life. Source: http://sixtyandme.com/how-to-recover-from-a-divorce-after-60/
