Divorce can mean major changes for families, from separating homes and assets to negotiating child custody arrangements. It can also be an opportunity for both partners to move on and find more suitable mates in the future. What may be most surprising about getting a divorce is the inequality of it; the vast majority of divorces and separations are initiated by women. There are many underlying causes that may compel a woman to end her marriage. Encountering Hardships In households where the man is unemployed, a woman may be more likely to file for divorce, especially if she herself is employed, according to PsychCentral writer Rick Nauert, PhD. Emotionally traumatic events, such as the death of a child or extreme financial difficulties, can also create the distance between partners that leads wives to file for divorce, as noted in the article, "Divorce and Death of a Child." Falling Out of Love Long-term relationships can bring happiness and joy, but partners may also begin to drift apart or grow bored. Women may report feeling bored, falling out of love with their spouses, or eager to get back to hobbies and interests that they gave up when they married a spouse who was not interested in those activities. Abuse, Addiction and Infidelity Many women still cite major problems as reasons for a divorce. An unfaithful husband, verbal abuse, physical abuse and addictions to drugs or alcohol play significant roles in a woman's decision to get a divorce, found a survey conducted for AARP The Magazine. Men participating in this study were more likely to seek divorce for reasons such as differing lifestyles and falling out of love. Divorce Risk Factors Several factors can influence a couple's financial and emotional stability, which in turn impact divorce risk. The risk of divorce doubles or triples for couples who get hitched during the teen years, according to an article from TwoOfUs.org. Differences between spouses in values, like religion and politics, or in life goals or family backgrounds can also cause a relationship to break down over time, leading women to seek divorce. A lack of college education for one or both partners can also increase the risk of divorce
Are you wondering if it is OK to divorce your spouse?
Making the decision to divorce can be a complicated matter. Most divorces take place due to marital problems that have solutions but the parties to the marriage lack the skills to solve those problems. in other words, most divorce without a valid reason to divorce. There are however marital problems that should send you running to a divorce lawyer's office and filing for a divorce. There are behaviors inside some marriages that no spouse should be expected to live with on a daily basis.
No one should take the decision to divorce lightly, but there are cases where divorce is the only solution. If you’ve found yourself in one of the situations coming to the decision to divorce might be easy. Physical or Emotional Abuse If your spouse hits you once it will happen again. You should not stay in a marriage beyond that first punch, slap or shove. DO NOT make excuses for someone who hits you, DO NOT take the blame for someone hitting you. Violence is a need to control and exert power over a spouse, it is not about loving a spouse. Domestic abuse comes in different forms. Your spouse may physically abuse you or emotionally abuse you. Yelling, screaming, name-calling and put-downs are not acceptable forms of behavior, either. For your own safety and sanity and that of your children, you need to leave. Infidelity "Once a cheater, always a cheater." Infidelity is much like domestic abuse; it is a behavior that will repeat itself.
A spouse will cheat for many reasons, what you; the victim of infidelity needs to understand is that there is never a good reason. Yes, it is possible to restore trust in a marriage after a spouse has an affair. But, if your spouse is a serial cheater you need to examine why you are choosing to stay in a marriage with someone who has little or no respect for you and their marriage vows.
Economic Tensions Have you heard the term, “financial infidelity?” If your spouse is spending money and putting an economic strain on the family they are committing financial infidelity. Your spouse may have a shopping or gambling addiction they are hiding from you. He/she may be running up credit card debt that you don’t know about. The question for you is, do you allow someone else’s problem to bury you in debt or do you make no excuses? Being married to someone like this can mean years of recovery and they will usually repeat the behavior over and over again. Drug or Alcohol Addiction You can’t fix an addict. For some reason, though, those married to addicts stay in the marriage believing they can somehow bring about change in the addict's behavior. An addict changes when they make the choice to change. An addict does not change because they see their spouse or children suffer. They do not change until they hit rock bottom and only the addict knows what his/her rock bottom is. If you are lucky the thought of losing his/her family will mean a positive change in the addict. If you aren’t lucky and choose to stay in the marriage you can bet the addict will take their family down with them. Source: https://www.liveabout.com/valid-reasons-for-getting-a-divorce-1102884
Any divorce is difficult, and something we all wish to be able to avoid but divorcing an addict bears even more hardships. Being married to one does as well. Addiction is one of the primary destroyers of relationship and families, as well as individual lives. This article will go over all the basics of divorcing an addict that you need to be aware of before, during, or after the divorce itself. The facts about being in a relationship with an addict Before we focus on divorce, let’s discuss how the relationships with addicts look like. Because there’s no divorce without a dysfunctional relationship. But first of all, a few facts about the addicts. Although it is usually very hard for the non-addicted spouse to believe in that, the addiction and the binges are not about them. It is a very private relationship between the addict and the substance.In a similar way, deception is also not something to be taken personally. Addiction has a way of making the addict believe they cannot live without the substance, and they will do anything to obtain it, or to keep using it. Not that you should condone lies, but you just need to understand why it happens and not get distracted by being hurt by lies. Addiction goes far beyond the substance When married to an addict, and once the addiction is shouted out loud, what becomes the main issue in the family is – treatment. But, as is commonly known, there is no treatment without an honest decision to do so. And also, this decision is not enough. What is also not enough is a detox. Many people mistakenly believe that once the drugs are out of the system, the addict is basically healed. This cannot be further from the truth. Addiction goes far beyond the substance (although the substance isn’t a piece of cake either). It is a combination of different psychological mechanisms that made the person vulnerable, kept them addicted, and keep them from healing. This is why living with an addict often turns into an endless game of getting in and out of treatments.
Is divorce inevitable when married to an addict? Addiction is, without a doubt, one of the greatest challenges for a marriage. The non-addicted spouse is affected by the addiction directly and indirectly. They have to watch someone they love going through a disastrous downward spiral. Often, they also have to look at how this affects their children. On top of that, they will get lied to, possibly cheated on, shouted at, possibly physically hurt, and be treated with far less respect than they deserve to be treated with. Addiction will gradually eat away the trust and the closeness. and by being legally bound to the addict, the non-addicted spouse will also be legally bound to share the damage that the addict might cause. All this has the power to strain the marriage and drain the non-addicted spouse’s energy and tolerance. And it may be the cause of a divorce. Not necessarily, though, as to whether the divorce will happen depends on a number of reasons, such as whether the addict is getting a treatment and how successfully, the quality and strength of the relationship prior to the addiction, etc. Legal aspects of divorcing an addict However, if you are contemplating on divorcing an addict, there a few specific additional tactics to use, apart from the general aspects of a divorce process that everyone goes through. First of all, addiction is usually considered grounds for a fault divorce. In cases when you feel that you should file for a fault divorce, you will need proof of habitual and long-term intoxication of your soon-to-be-ex. If during the divorce proceedings where there are children involved in the custody battle addiction is reported, the judge will order an investigation of this complaint. If there is proof of such allegations, the custody of children will be given to the non-addicted parent. In cases when the addicted parent still visits children under the influence of the substance, a rehabilitation may be ordered by the court. Things to consider before the divorce
All this may be traumatic for both partners and the children. Which is why there are a few things you should carefully consider before you do decide to file for the divorce. First of all, is your spouse beyond help? Did they try and fail rehabilitation? Are they endangering you or your children? Is your marriage broken beyond repair? Source: https://www.marriage.com/advice/divorce/divorcing-an-addict/
